How to Be Single After a Long-Term Relationship
Discovering how to be single again can be tough. Read stories from women who've been there and find out how they did it.
It’s Okay Not to Be Okay>
Fill Your Cup>
You Deserve the Love You Give>
Get Excited for What Lies Ahead>
They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At least one point in your life, you’re bound to get heartbroken. But it’s a different story if you (and probably everyone else) thought the relationship would last forever. Don’t worry about your lonely heart – you’ll get by. Women who’ve been there share tips on how to be single after a long-term relationship has ended. Now get under the sheets with a cup of tea and read on.
It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
It’s Day 1. Your (insert unbelievably long number)-year relationship had just ended, but already it feels like an eternity. You struggle to get out of bed and as you muster the strength to crawl to the kitchen for a caffeinated respite (black, the strongest possible), you think – what is the point?
Feelings of deep sadness and loss are absolutely normal when you’re mourning. You can give yourself a deadline to bawl your eyes out or take your sweet time to let everything sink in. In any case, know that it’s okay not to be okay.
Fill Your Cup
Kimi Lu, a pioneer Filipina life coach and entrepreneur, was in a two-year long-distance relationship. Looking back, she has zero regrets. “Everything happens for a reason. Perhaps it didn’t work out because it wasn’t supposed,” she says.
After the dust has settled, the first step to getting back on track is self-healing. “Seek community, new hobbies, deeper friendships, and love for self. Keep trying to fill yourself up, then pour out from the overflow,” advises the once-heartbroken life coach.
When you lose someone, it feels as if there’s a hole in your heart. Fill in that void by enriching your life with meaningful experiences and connections. Try out for that jiu-jitsu class you’ve been eyeing. Learn a new language. Speaking of communicating, when was the last time you had some girls-only time? When was the last time you treated your mom to lunch?
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You Deserve the Love You Give
Michelin Ramirez was in a relationship for six years. At a certain point, every couple reaches a make-or-break moment. In Michelin’s case, it was the latter.
“I had to end it because there were too many signs that things weren’t going anywhere. It was just a matter of really accepting the situation. That helped me cope,” she says. But acceptance was not a passive act for Michelin. Having her heart broken didn’t diminish her capacity to love others and herself. If at all, it made her stronger.
“Accept and go through the healing process. Give your love to others but don’t forget to love yourself too. Date yourself, pamper yourself, and things like that. Soon you’ll realize that you are enough,” Michelin adds.
Sometimes, the key to getting back on the horse is to get off it, sit back and show yourself a little love. Dove Deeply Nourishing Body Wash makes the perfect me-time companion, giving you soft and smooth skin with regular use.
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Want to know how to be single? Just relish and soak in your newfound freedom. Go ahead. Keep the bathroom door unlocked. No one’s going to barge in to interrupt your long relaxing bath.
Get Excited for What Lies Ahead
This might not seem like it when you’re fresh off the love wagon, but there’s a bright world of opportunity to look forward to at the end of the breakup tunnel. Bettina Tagle was in a relationship for five years before it ended. But she never lost sight of who she was or what she wanted. “I think it’s part of growing up and growing into a person who is more equipped to be in a healthy relationship,” she answers when asked if she would have done anything differently.
If it helps, think of the old saying, when a door closes, a window opens. Bettina jokingly says that one of the things she’s excited about is “meeting new people who are hotter than her ex.” Think you’re ready for a night out at the club and possibly make a (hot) friend? Make closeup Red Hot Toothpaste part of your party arsenal. It has Anti-bacterial Zinc that blasts up to 99.9% of bacteria to give you fresh breath for up to 12 hours with regular use.
Kidding aside, she adds, “It’s always nice to have complete autonomy over my time and not think of anyone but myself.” Think about the person you were before your former flame came along. It will remind you of what you’re capable of and the amazing person you still are.
Still wondering how to be single? Recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all and there certainly is no guarantee you’ll wake up feeling better tomorrow. Give yourself some time and kindness before “the right one” comes along. When he does, you might even miss being single, so enjoy it while it lasts.
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