How to Deal When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment
Is your girlfriend, mother, or best friend giving you the silent treatment? Break down their walls with these gentle, yet effective communication tips.
Give Them Space>
Ask Questions – Nicely>
Use “I” Statements>
Plan Ahead>
Set Boundaries>
If you’ve ever been completely ignored by someone despite your feeble attempts to try and talk, congratulations! You’ve just been handed the silent treatment. It’s when another person refuses to communicate with you, usually for unknown reasons. While hurtful words can damage relationships beyond repair, silence isn’t much help either.
The last thing you want is to turn the silent treatment into a battle of patigasan. Who can avoid talking the longest? Don’t wait to find out. Meeting silence with silence doesn’t resolve the issue. Before things get out of hand, respond in ways that benefit both parties. Here’s what you can do when the lack of communication gets deafening.
Give Them Space
There are many reasons why you might receive the silent treatment. Maybe your partner, friend, or family member doesn’t quite know how to express themselves, so they resort to avoidance. In the worst cases, a person exerts power over others by withholding any form of communication. If the person’s silence is getting on your nerves, best to give them a little space so you can both cool off. Avoid accelerating the situation by reacting without thinking.
Ask Questions – Nicely
After a nice time-out, arrange to resolve the issue. By now, you may have some idea why you’re being ignored, but don’t assume you know exactly why the other person is upset. After all, your aggressor refuses to speak to you. Take this time to ask questions and dig deeper into the situation without making it sound like an interrogation.
Use “I” Statements
A gentler approach when dealing with conflict is to focus on your feelings and beliefs rather than pointing out the other person’s faults. You can start by saying, “I get that you’re mad, but it would really mean a lot to me if we could resolve this,” instead of, “There you go again, shutting me out.” Talking about how something made you feel instead of what the other person is doing wrong may get them to open up.
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Plan Ahead
The next thing to do is gently express how getting the silent treatment made you feel. Again, focus on yourself and refrain from making statements that start with “you.” Communicate with the other person and make a plan – when something is upsetting, what can you do instead of ignoring each other? Take note of triggers and set expectations to make conflict resolution easier in the future.
Your closest relationships – from your woman to your wingman – will have different communication styles. But there are standards to live by regardless of a person’s love language. Treat everyone with respect and kindness, even if you are handed the silent treatment.
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Set Boundaries
You want to make the first move when dealing with the silent treatment, however, you also want to keep your dignity. Don’t get down on your knees and beg just because their silence is killing you. Be firm about your expectations and set boundaries. If expressing your feelings doesn’t work, perhaps it’s time to walk away until the other person is ready to talk. They have boundaries, too.
Whether you’re getting it or giving it, the silent treatment is detrimental to any relationship since communication is crucial to resolving conflict. It may feel like the right thing to do, but not expressing your feelings can snowball into long-term damage. If these tips don’t work, consider seeking professional help to get to the root of the problem.
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