12 Confidence Tips From Filipino Standup Comediennes

Stand-up comedy is an unforgiving arena where every mistake or insecurity can be magnified before an audience. Thankfully, the opposite can also be true: it’s also a field that can uplift, inspire, and empower. Filipino standup comedians like Mariel Jimenez and Diana Aaron-Ong may seem like they’ve mastered the art of commanding a room, but they’ll be the first to tell you that they’re just getting started and that every show is a chance to learn. Their experiences on stage can teach anyone valuable lessons in confidence – here are 12 of them.

Both Mariel Jimenez and Diana Aaron-Ong began their stand-up careers in their 40s, proving that age is just a number when it comes to pursuing dreams. Before Mariel was a standup comedian, she was a magazine beauty editor in the Philippines. She moved to New York after a successful career in publishing and discovered her love for comedy. Now, she does shows on top of her day job as a copy director.

Diana, or Di for short, is a senior marketing executive who found comfort in comedy during the pandemic. “I tried different things to keep me afloat such as short courses in psychology, and hoarding on Shopee! But the most effective ‘therapy’ for me was comedy,” she shares. “It’s never too late to start something that you are passionate about.” Confidence often comes from allowing yourself to follow your passions at any stage in life.

One of the first lessons Mariel has learned as a standup comic is that nerves are not something to avoid – they should be embraced. “Have a kickass, pre-show hype playlist to get you in the right headspace. Nerves are good, they fuel a great performance, and nerves mean that you care.” Instead of fearing them, channel them into energy that helps you succeed.

Proper hygiene is a huge part of building confidence. When nerves get in the way, make sure you stay fresh and dry by using a deodorant that keeps sweat and odor at bay. Rexona Motionsense Roll On Deodorant Passion delivers up to 48 hours of protection and leaves you with feeling shower-fresh with every move.

Within a few years of doing shows locally and internationally, Di learned that, whether on a stage or IRL, overthinking kills momentum and confidence.

“Don’t overthink, don’t be self-conscious,” she advises. Sometimes, taking action without dwelling on doubts is the best way to build confidence.

Both comedians agree that humor is a powerful way to disarm insecurities. Di says, “If you accept your flaws and laugh about them, other people no longer have the power to use your weakness against you.” Laughing at yourself helps you take control of the narrative and face challenges with confidence.

“It’s not lost on me that I’ve been very, very fortunate to have started comedy when I did,” Mariel says.“Comedians like Ali Wong and Amy Schumer have blazed a trail for female comics like me. But I also do comedy in New York City, which is one of the best places – for all genders – to do comedy! It’s an incredibly supportive environment,” Mariel says.

Di uses the fact that she is one of the few Filipino female comedians in the local scene to fuel her confidence. “I've always aspired to do stand-up as a way to stand up and speak out for women. Imagine, in the local stand-up scene, the ratio of females to males is only 1 out of 10. Sawang-sawana ang audience sa d*ck jokes. Dapat perspective naman ng babae,” Di says.

If you’re outnumbered, whether in comedy or any other industry, don’t let it intimidate you – let it empower you to make your voice heard.

Having a supportive community makes all the difference. “Growing up in the ’90s, the concept of beauty was boxed in certain stereotypes. I did not exactly fit in. I was boyish and ‘kengkoy’. I lacked confidence, especially in front of guys,” Di shares.

She found a safe space in comedy – somewhere she can feel confident in her unique personality and skills. Fast forward to her forties: when she faces a negative comment during an open mic, she finds solace in her fellow female comedians. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, because confidence flourishes in a strong support system.

Mariel learned that the focus of stand-up is the audience, not the performer. “Doing stand-up is not about you, it’s about the audience,” she shares.

“I learned this from my friend and Comedy Cellar Comic Jocelyn Chia and one of my teachers, West Side Comedy Club booker Clayton Fletcher. I know this sounds woo-woo and cheesy but it’s about bringing light and laughter to the audience; uplifting at least one person in the audience When you focus on how you can help or connect with others, your confidence naturally grows.”

In the same way, if you go through life focusing on what other people think or being reactive toward their actions, you might miss out on amazing experiences. Remember, how people respond reflects on them, not you.

Even seasoned comedians experience self-doubt. Mariel admits to still feeling self-conscious at times, but her mantra is to keep pushing forward. The key to confidence is not the absence of doubt but the decision to act despite it.

“To this day, I still have doubts and issues with self-confidence,” she shares.“ Although there’s something about doing comedy in your forties that it’s not as emotionally fraught as, let’s say, being in your 20s and being deeply insecure and self-conscious. I mean I still am to some degree, but I feel more equipped to deal with the highs and lows that come with pursuing a career in entertainment.”

She adds, “That said, there’s this quote by Iliza Shlesinger that has shaped my decision-making process when it comes to stand-up and trying new things in general, it goes: ‘People aren’t invested in whether you fail or succeed. So get it done. You only have one life and you came here to play.’”

Both comedians have learned to handle criticism with humor and resilience. Jimenez brushes off negative online feedback, while Aaron-Ong dealt with an insensitive remark from a fellow comedian by laughing it off with her peers.

“On one of our open mics (where we test new jokes), the host, a male comedian, said ‘Thank you for proving that women shouldn't be in comedy.’ It's a joke made popular by Ricky Gervaise and used extensively by male comedians. But as someone who was still new in stand-up comedy, I felt singled out,” Di shares. “Like any mature and professional female, I told my fellow comediennes about it, and we had an entire bull session about him!”

Let criticism roll off your back – confidence means valuing your own opinion over anyone else’s. Either that or laugh it out with your ride-or-dies. 

Both comedians know the high of delivering a joke that lands. “If you happen to get that dopamine hit of absolutely killing and shining on stage, then that’s great, it’s the cherry on top. It’s sooo highly addictive! That’s why we keep doing it,” Mariel shares. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small. Each win builds your confidence and keeps you motivated to keep going.

Stand-up comedy requires quick thinking, especially when a joke doesn’t land. Mariel explains that stand-up is technical, and preparation is key. “The cool thing about standup is it’s actually very technical and you can always pivot to the next joke and bit. That’s why jokes have to be super quick and tight. Or if you’re telling a story, your story needs punchlines every couple of seconds (unless you’re Dave Chappelle). This is where you also develop the skill to read the room and gauge the temperament of the audience.”

Knowing your material well lets you pivot if things don’t go as planned. Being prepared and adaptable will boost your confidence in any situation.

Having a consistent haircare and skincare regimen is also a form of preparation – for performers and non-performers alike. It gets you ready for the day and leaves you with fewer things to worry about when situations get tricky. Use Sunsilk Smooth and Manageable Shampoo to keep your hair as low maintenance as possible (and 5x smoother) with a blend of flower perfume oils, vitamin B3, and collagen.

Meanwhile, keep shiny skin under control with POND'S Bright Miracle Ultimate Oil Control Facial Foam. It uses activated charcoal to deeply cleanse the pores, remove excess oil, and brighten the skin.

Di advises women not to take themselves too seriously and to let go of the need for perfection. “If you accept your flaws and laugh about them, other people no longer have the power to use these ‘weaknesses’ against you!”

Mariel adds, “A lot of things you really can’t control, you just have to come prepared – have a solid set, get the jokes in your body, so you can focus on having a great time.” Confidence grows when you accept that you don’t have to be flawless to be great.

Being a Filipino standup comedian may not be bread-and-butter for Mariel and Di, but it sure is proving to be a worthwhile endeavor that continues to give them confidence and fulfillment. It’s proof that even when the odds are stacked against you, believing in yourself enough to take that first step is always a good idea.