Unhindered Conversations: Working Moms Facing Unrealistic Expectations

Working moms, stay-at-home moms – in the past couple of years, the distinction between the two blurred. Mothers have had to balance professional and domestic responsibilities mostly with limited physical space and resources. Despite this seeming convergence, the recent health crisis prompted many mothers to choose between family and career.

Working moms are tired. According to research at the University of Pennsylvania, mothers have had to perform more household tasks since working from home. Similarly, studies by Visier and McKinsey found that mothers are thrice more likely to do the caregiving as well. Phew!

Data from the employment site, My Perfect Resume, reported that 43% of women (versus 30% of men) confessed to struggling to balance work and child-rearing. Yet it also revealed that 75% of women (versus 59% of men) felt pressure from their employers to be always “on.” Studies from other job-oriented networks also disclosed women’s inability to shut down from either responsibility.

Mothers also receive the brunt of “maternal bias.” According to a University of Michigan study, this bias is how people perceive working moms’ capability (or lack of) to balance their dual roles. A professionally successful mother might be neglecting things at home. Or, when a mom appears to be a great parent, she’s probably not as effective at work. It’s not a fair assessment, but it’s a prevalent one.

Working moms got honest with BeautyHub.PH about their experiences and challenges. If you’re a working woman and a parent, know that you’re not alone.

Jill Bantang Tan has embraced both her worlds. She considers her two toddler boys and highly successful electronics store her children, which allows her to give them equal amounts of attention. “They’re all demanding of my time, so I maximize it. I don't waste time from the minute I wake up till I get to bed,” she says.

“As much as the world dictates that moms need ‘me time,’ I find more joy maximizing my time with my business and family,” Jill adds. She admits she let go of hobbies that do not involve her family. “I try to integrate my family into the things I do, so I have more time with them.”

Theater actress and marketing director Sab Jose-Gregorio doesn’t mince words as far as working-mom challenges go. “It’s heartbreaking when you have a deadline to meet but your baby needs your attention and company. Conversely, it can also get frustrating when your baby insists on being carried all day and all you want to do is send an email.”

Sab divulges that in desperate times, she pops in a video of Sesame Street. “It’s chaotic, but I’m grateful for the gift of work and motherhood.”

Contrary to popular opinion that women are multi-taskers, Cyril Belarmino-Sazon confesses she has trouble giving 100% of herself to the household and her job all at once. As a general manager of a creative agency and a mom of three boys, she always deals with some issue almost every hour of the day.

“The balancing act comes from a lot of self-awareness. I’ve learned to fill my cup to give the best of me in everything I do,” Cyril says, adding that she trains herself not to sweat the small stuff. She also finds the energy to handle everything on her plate by prioritizing herself. She makes time for a workout, a long drive alone, or sneaking in a beer.

“Don’t feel guilty about accepting and asking for help. It takes a village to raise children and run a household,” she advises.

Isi Laureano had no choice but to call on her proverbial village. The chef and Traveling Spoons founder has been a single working mom for almost 17 years. Early on, she left the more physically demanding hotel and restaurant work and went freelance during her son’s toddler years.

“I put up a home-based business, so I had more control of my time. I am very into schedules, and I manage our time through that,” she shares. Isi said she’s grateful for her earlier decisions. Her teenage son now helps her with her work, and they also spend a lot of time together.

“I’m very glad I decided to be a full-time mother to my son because it put him in the perspective to be responsible,” she explains. Though she’s glad that he’s grown to be independent, she admits she still worries about him. “Sometimes, you just have to trust and put a lot of faith in your child because you know you raised them right.”

It’s not always easy for working moms to unplug – the statistics say as much. It’s something you need to learn and consciously practice. Senior leasing manager Jo Cruz-Canon says that her toughest challenge is leaving the stress, negativity, and heaviness of work in the office. “I don’t want my child to see me tired, stressed, and defeated after a long, bad day at work,” she adds.

To make this possible, Jo focuses on her family when at home. Work interruptions are not allowed, especially during the weekends. “I want him to see me happy, full of energy, and ready to play or engage with him,” she shares.

When you’re bonding with your kids, always have a pack of Dove Baby Care Wipes Sensitive Moisture handy. It’s an efficient way to wipe off playground and food grime while still being mild on the skin.

ChrystelIlano-Acuña agrees that the working-mom challenges are endless – from explaining random things to a toddler to muting meetings while one of your children is throwing a tantrum. This entrepreneurial mama, however, keeps positive. She understands that her childhood passes by in a flash, so she chooses to enjoy the moment.

As for finding that balance, Chrystel shrugs. “I still don’t know how I do it!” she exclaims, revealing how she’s breastfed her baby during Zoom calls. “You find the will to make it work.”

Working moms don’t have it easy, so make other aspects of your life easier. Use Baby Dove Hair to Toe Sensitive Moisture Wash for your minis and spare yourself from worrying about irritated skin. It has a pH-neutral and hypoallergenic formula that is ophthalmologist-, dermatologist-, and pediatrician-tested. It makes you feel confident that your baby is safe and their skin creamy (thanks to the 1/4 moisturizing cream).

Whatever kind of working mom you are, make sure to take care of yourself. Don’t break a sweat with Rexona Advanced Brightening + Anti Stain Antiperspirant Deo Spray. You might be playing with your toddlers while attending a video call, but you’ll look and feel fresh as you juggle your tasks.

When things get overwhelming, give yourself a timeout, too. Find a way to relax. Pop open a bottle of wine, go shopping, and immerse yourself in a long bath. Use Love Beauty and Planet Argan Oil & Lavender Smooth and Serene Shampoo in the shower. Its French lavender scent has the remarkable quality of relaxing and energizing you at once. It’s what all working moms need.