What Is Dark Femininity and Should You Embrace It?

There are many ways to be a woman. For high achievers, it’s about breaking the glass ceiling. For girly girls, it’s being unafraid to challenge stereotypes through a hyper-feminine aesthetic. Now, there’s dark femininity – an enigmatic concept that melds self-empowerment with sensuality and a sprinkle of witchery.

The TikTok trend, which now has more than two billion views, is singing the same tune as the femme fatale archetype; only it puts less focus on sexual conquests and more on claiming inner strength. Its patron saints? None other than the likes of Monica Bellucci, Angelina Jolie, and Lily-Rose Depp.

Is dark femininity just questionable dating advice cloaked in New Ageism and sexy visuals? Or can it be a route out of your people-pleasing tendencies? Scroll down and judge for yourself.

Hidden deep in everyone’s psyche are the divine feminine and masculine energies – the nurturer and the provider. They can’t exist without the other and, contrary to popular belief, aren’t related to gender. Taking the theory further, the divine feminine has two sides: light and dark femininity. The latter is considered the shadow part, which is an idea borrowed from Jungian psychology.

Essentially, this shadow of your feminine power encompasses characteristics you have repressed in fear of judgment and rejection. If you’re normally a by-the-book person who secretly longs for adventures, you might have a rebellious spirit waiting to be unlocked. If you feel guilty for expressing your desires openly, then entering your dark feminine era means being assertive.

In general, dark feminine traits are not far from being dominant, fearless, mysterious, and, most of all, seductive. Think of a woman wrapped in a black satin dress and Louboutin stilettos with bouncy waves and red lips. A waft of Versace Crystal Noir follows her everywhere. People can’t help but be drawn to her magnetic presence, and – can you believe it? – she’s inside you all along!

For every video teaching women to embrace their dark feminine side, there’s content warning the ladies not to lean heavily into their masculine energy. What’s the difference between the two, then? Both have fiery traits, after all. Here’s where it gets complicated.

According to most dating coaches on TikTok, masculine women are often domineering and emasculating to the point of alienating potential partners. Meanwhile, dark feminine women draw men in with their sultry and mysterious allure. They don’t outwardly demand the same level of attention but rather use the good ol’ push and pull tactic.

Upset because your boyfriend hasn’t texted you? Keep silent and ghost him for days. Invited to a romantic dinner? Refuse to go Dutch and let him pay for it. You’re the prize and he’s the hunter. If it sounds a bit too much like repackaged patriarchy to you, you’re dead on the money. TikTok’s idea of dark femininity is so heavily centered around men, which unfortunately strays from the initial concept.

The dark feminine trend has some good qualities, aside from attracting men. If harnessed positively, it can help your self-esteem and autonomy blossom. It doesn’t take much to tap into your dark feminine energy, here’s how.

Sensuality doesn’t always have to be sexual. Sure, the term itself is all about physical pleasures, but it also involves engaging all your senses to experience life in all its vibrancy. One way to get in touch with it is through small mindfulness practices.

Take a nap under your softest duvet. Light your saved-for-special-moments scented candle when you’re feeling unenergetic. Or, focus on attending to your body. Give your body lots of love by applying Vaseline Gluta-Hya Serum Burst Lotion Overnight Radiance Repair before bedtime. It combines GlutaGlow, Hyaluron, and Amino-Peptide Complex to repair and revitalize tired skin while you’re sleeping. You’ll wake up with the softest, buttery skin.

You can also amp up your skincare game with POND'S Bright Miracle Night Serum. It uses niasorcinol to brighten and renew your complexion overnight.

As women, we’re used to setting our wants and needs aside to prioritize others. Now it’s time to flip the script. If you can only remember one thing about dark feminine energy, let it be this: love yourself for who you are, not what you could’ve been. You deserve that level of compassion, especially from yourself.

Try standing in front of a mirror and say, “I’m powerful and full of love. I don’t take BS from anyone.” Look deep into your own eyes as you speak these words with conviction. It may feel a bit strange at first, but over time, you’ll internalize this message and believe it wholeheartedly.

The soft voice inside your head is strongly tethered to your dark feminine energy. Whenever it pops out, take a minute to listen. What is it telling you? Maybe it tells you something is off when you’re hanging out with old friends you can’t relate to anymore. If that’s the case, there’s no harm in reassessing your friendships. Your time and presence are precious, so don’t waste them for fake niceties.

All in all, dark femininity may have its critics and detractors, but it’s not all bad. The core teachings encourage you to accept the shadow aspects of yourself. In turn, this newfound awareness allows you to live more authentically. So, don’t hesitate to wear red and channel your inner Georgina Sparks.