Unhindered Conversations: Filipina Bosses on Giving ‘Tough Love’

Finding the right balance between friendly and stern in leadership is a delicate dance. Give too many comments and suddenly you’re labeled as the demanding, Miranda Priestly type. Yet, if you’re all smiles and sunshine, people look down on you. So, where’s the happy medium? For these Filipino bosses, turning up “tough love” gives them the best of both worlds.

What is tough love? Some misinterpret it as dishing out harsh criticism one day, only to become excessively friendly the next. A switch you can flip between “tough” and “love,” depending on the mood. While the intensity differs in every person, Trina believes it should always be about doing the tough stuff to support your team members.

“It means setting a safe platform to address, understand, and discuss when a ball is dropped,” she explains. In times of crisis, the first question shouldn’t be about who made the mistake but about understanding what actually happened. It doesn’t mean you’re shying away from holding someone accountable, though. “You’re extending empathy to understand the context and to mentor your team.”

Managing a group of six copywriters, Trina keeps her strategy simple. “It’s currently PR&D season, and the whole process is tough love. My approach is to have a one-on-one meeting with each member and give them constructive feedback right after giving them credit.”

A day in the life of a senior editor like Carmen is all go, no slow. Her schedule is packed with tons of meetings – daily huddles, brainstorming sessions, weekly reports, you name it. In the middle of this mad rush, she’s also expected to put out whatever fires come her way while staying on top of her BAU. Simply put, she has neither the time nor the energy to put up with BS at work.

However, Carmen understands tension will arise if she can’t communicate the issue at hand in a clear and effective manner. Like Trina, she’d rather not point fingers and instead.“People tend to reject plain criticism, but they will respond well if they feel it’s coming from a place of genuine concern.”

“If I tell someone, ‘You are so irresponsible lately,’ things won’t go down nicely. But if I get specific and say, ‘Last week, this happened and the consequence was this,’ it’s gentler and more productive,” she adds.

When you’re facing a less-than-pleasant situation, step back to cool off. Let your emotions settle before you push forward. Most importantly, keep your focus on finding solutions and maintaining a harmonious team dynamic.

Crissy, who works as a client services director, tends to put the welfare of her teammates above her own objectives. While this leadership style makes employees feel valued, it may cause difficulties when big decisions need to be made. “Injecting my style with tough love gives it a certain balance. It helps ground the team while giving them room to learn and grow.”

Honest conversations are hard. Most workers don’t speak up about their concerns, fearing it might impact their careers. Crissy shares, “Showing tough love at work sparks a collaborative environment.” Brutal honesty is key, but above all, it should be constructive and not spiteful.

Cool boss is game. Cool boss is fun. Cool boss never gets angry at their employees. But do people really dream of having a cool boss? According to a poll done by the Harvard Business Review, only 6.7% of employees endorse it – 9% of the respondents even prefer hard-charging managers.

This finding doesn’t shock Bea, a division head at a content marketing agency. Since her first managerial role, she has been positioning herself as a coach. “A coach adjusts the way they teach and correct based on a person’s learning style, personality, and needs. It also means being able to develop healthy, trust-based relationships with your team.”

Part of being a good leader, in Bea’s perspective, is intentionally checking in with their direct reports on a regular basis to understand their hurdles. Moreover, she believes that each person will most likely need different kinds of support at a different time.

“Success and struggle come part and parcel with any kind of work. Tough love can create opportunities for transparency – and from there, a leader can diagnose the exact issue and the support needed,” she says.

“Sometimes I’m the friend you can send dog memes to or the mom you can run to for advice on stress. But when the situation calls for it, I can switch back to the boss who gave you a hard deadline and needs you to stick to it.” This approach may not work for everyone, but as long as you treat people with kindness and courtesy, you’ll gain respect.

Few realize that caring for their team extends to caring for themselves. After all, if you don’t set an example by valuing your own well-being, how can you expect your employees to do the same?

Neglecting your needs not only impacts your ability to lead but also leads to burnout. Not to mention that stress can trigger excessive hair fall. Wash your tresses with Sunsilk Strong & Long Shampoo, which has biotin and aloe vera. Both ingredients work together to nourish your strands and help them grow stronger.

Don’t feel guilty about taking a break, too. Even simple pleasures like a relaxing shower with Dove Go Fresh Cucumber & Green Tea Body Wash can refresh your weary mind. It’s made with Microbiome Gentle Skin Prebiotics formula that helps preserve the skin’s natural moisture level. Plus, it contains cucumber and green tea extract for extra hydration.

Last but not least, protect your underarms from sweat and body odor by applying Rexona Advanced Brightening Deodorant Dry Serum Anti Stain. The combination of sunflower seed oil and vitamins C, E, and F helps brighten dark marks and protect the skin from irritation.

Filipino bosses show that giving tough love doesn’t equate to being a pushover. At the end of the day, most, if not all, employees want a leader who respects and helps them reach their career goals.